Sept 17.

Self-sabotage.
That is the word of the day.
Why is it that when I get in a groove, I figure out a way to ruin it in one fell swoop? I ate a good breakfast, I avoided temptation, I walked for lunch....then I stopped by the convenience store! What do I buy? Strawberry sugar wafers! I keep doing this to myself!
Why!?!?
I just lost all of what I wrote! Damn phone.
I wish I could afford one of those live in programs like true north that help you break food addiction. I truly am addicted. I sneak food. I buy what I can't afford just to get my food fix. My day revolves around avoiding, then caving to food temptation. I've read the books, I've watched the videos, I've followed the blogs and the doctors and the knowledge. I'm weak. I've developed a dependence on candies and cookies.
I have a few people who support me, but when you are the lone vegan trying to lose weight in the house, it becomes a daily challenge to stay the course. My only motivation is me. I'm forever alone mentally, physically and emotionally. I'm tired.
I wish there was one thing in my life that was easy. Just one. I'm tired of struggling. Of feeling like a failure. Of shouldering it by myself again and again and again...